When I was younger I was presented with an idea of my future husband that I just couldn’t see myself pursuing. ‘You’ll have a nice strong man that will take care of you’ is what my mum would always say. I didn’t exactly want someone to be looking after me when I was an adult, but I thought that’s just how it is and that’s the normal dynamic that I should expect. So I spent years watching films and reading books, picturing my ideal man. A tall brooding alpha that only shows his emotions on special occasions and only for me, the kind of man that would work all day and then stare at me adoringly while I prepared him a fantastic meal… This isn’t what I really got.
My husband is not who I thought I would be spending my life with, but I really wouldn’t have it any other way. My husband certainly isn’t some over emasculated alpha that dominates every room that he walks in and I knew that on our first date when he asked me to call over the waitress because he was ‘too shy’. To any girl this may have been a bit of a turn off, but I really liked how he wasn’t so insecure that he had to put up a false bravado and make himself uncomfortable. It oddly felt like he was already being fully honest with me and I felt like his equal rather than some girl that he’s making a false persona for.
Dating him in general was completely different to any male experience I had ever had. He was a hopeless romantic and by our 3rd date he had made me this book, full of these quotes on love that he had collected from some of his favourite books or songs. It was a bit messy and he used more glitter glue than any person would ever need to use, but I had never received anything so heartfelt in my entire life, I had become so accustomed to just receiving a box of chocolates or some flowers bought in a garage. This is what really made me love the soppy side of him, because it was also the side of him that made it clear how much he loved me. What was even better about this side of him was that he was consistent. Usually even the alpha boys have a period of showering you with gifts and compliments, but this didn’t just disappear when I was dating my husband and it has continued to be doing that he does even years into our marriage.
Our wedding day is what really stands out. Believe it or not we had to postpone our ceremony for 40 minutes because he just would not stop sobbing when he saw me walking down the aisle in that dress. Anytime the priest tried to get him to say something he would have to start over or stop completely in between sobs. Again, I imagine other women wouldn’t enjoy their wedding ceremony being stopped because their husband was crying, but I’ve never felt so beautiful in my life. This isn’t even a rare thing, anytime he sees me in a slightly different light than what he’s used to he will well up and proclaim how good I look, what woman wouldn’t want that?
You should have seen him when we were planning to start a family, I’ve never met a man so involved. We would be falling asleep and I would get a little poke to the side of the face and he would tell me the new baby names he thought of and what nicknames could come with them. He even completely emptied his own office so that the baby could have a big nursery. He chose all of the wall paper trimmings, the furniture and even the ‘soft enough carpet’. He really went hands on, which I never expected from a husband. I always thought I would have someone who would begrudgingly help me assemble a cot after begging or drive to me to hospital appointments and sit in the car. Throughout the entire process
I was glad that I didn’t have this emotionally detached alpha by my side, I had my lovely Soppy husband who did nothing but support me wholeheartedly.